For The Ladies

On a scale of 1 to 10 my love of women is a ten and my understanding of women is about a 0.5. The man who ever figures them out will be richer than Bill Gates overnight. They are life's eternal mystery and unfortunately the answer is not 46. It's maddening how maddening they can be. If God is man (debatable) women are the test. If I ever make it to the Pearly Gates, St. Peter won't ask me if I lived according to God's will he will ask me if I lived to women's will and I will say "Yes... but not without a fight". Does that make me righteous? Maybe.
I love them for their ability to care, understand, love, succor, organise, feel, communicate. I hate them for their ability to make all of those things so difficult. Their is a reason that they do the things they do, I just wish I knew why.
I've had 2-1/2 relationships in my whole life that were worth a damn. There is an argument there that I've been noncommittal, but my argument would be, that actually I have been very committed when the feeling was mutual. I'm prepared to put in what the other is prepared to put in, but somehow I never felt like I had control of that negotiation. I'm not saying that I felt like a puppet, but more like the choices I had to make were put on the table for me and then I had to make the choice. Somebody tell me I'm wrong and that's not the way it is. Therein lies the reason why I think there should be more women politicians. It's this innate ability that women have of making men think they have a choice when they actually don't that makes them the master negotiator.
Every movie I've ever seen where the bank robber takes hostages, the FBI negotiator has always been a man. In the beginning, they always play hardball. They threaten to send in the SWAT team or turn off the power or turn up the air conditioning. They will tell the hostage taker that he is having to hold back the snipers because they've got an itchy finger or if he comes out now everything will be OK because nobody's been killed yet (has that line ever worked yet). Soon they'll soften their stance and say that they are trying to organise a bus to take them all to the airport, where a plane will be waiting to take them to Cuba. (Two things here: That's obviously not gonna work, it hasn't worked in the previous movies so why is it gonna work in this one and why do they always want to fly to Cuba? Is their some sort of hostage taker retirement home there?) Later in the piece when the negotiator starts getting desperate because nothing is working, the tables start to turn and all of a sudden the hostage taker starts getting his demands met. Maybe it's just pizza in exchange for a few of the elderly or sick hostages or even the pregnant one who just went into labor. 12 hours later, they will meet face to face in a standoff at the front door of the bank, Mano y Mano, with all guns trained on the hostage taker and the place will absolutely reek of sweat, testosterone and pizza and it will all be very dramatic. In my reality, the women negotiator comes in offers pizza right away, which will be delivered by the hostage takers mother(definitely not the girlfriend!). Mom and the negotiator will have him crying into his pizza within 15 minutes and we'll all be home by lunch. Not a very good movie all the same but at least everyone get's home alive.
In conclusion, my respect for women is immense. So much so that I'm almost ready to become a lesbian myself. Barring that impossibility, I've done the next best thing. I've done a playlist! As always, the list is incomplete but hopefully there is something in there for someone. Love you all!