Tour De France

I was going to wait until the end of this year's tour to do a post, but after last night's stage the tour is virtually over anyways so why wait? Before I go into the tour itself, a little side note about my own personal virtual tour, which is also virtually over, thank god!
My mate Ivo has invited me for the last two years to take part in a virtual tour where you pick a team and score points for their actual results. Well, really it has been a disaster. The main problem is that everyone picks from the same pool of riders (I've argued for a drafting system, but that would be too hard to organise). Anyways, in any given tour that are sure fire guys that you need in your team and that everyone else will also have (e.g. Contador,Schleck (both),Cavandish,Husvold, Menchov and Cancellara). Unfortunately, I didn't have Cancellara in my team (actually I did at one stage but substituted him for Bradley Wiggins to try and get a point of difference from other players (Dumb!). Of course Cancellara won the first stage and carried the yellow jersey for a few days, killing my team in the first few days. Great! The two most bothersome things for me about this are: 1. I did an inordinate amount of smack-talking pre-tour about how I was going to destroy Ivo this year and 2. my team's chances were decimated by a guy named Fabian. That really hurt.
Now back to the real tour. I don't know why I like following the tour, it's a bit difficult to explain but I'll give it a go. I naturally started following it back in Holland where everyone is bike mad (not necessarily bike-racing mad but still).For myself, once I got into the tour I was a demon on the bike path. I'd be timing my sprints to get past unsuspecting riders so that I could beat them to the next telephone pole or sign post or whatever my finishing line was. If I couldn't quite make it there was always the next telephone pole or sign post or something( Hey! the guys in the real tour cheat,why shouldn't I?) I even pre-dated Lance with "The Look" as I would ride away from these pretenders.
It's great, for a few weeks in summer, you can come home from work, crack a beer, jump on the couch for an hour and a half and watch a 120 guys go out and kill themselves for virtually no reason. In the weekends, you even get to watch the whole stage which might last 5 or 6 hours. Now here is my key to being able to follow a tour that last 3 weeks and 3500 kms. The announcers. Stages normally follow a script. Start,breakaway,shuffling,peloton hauls in breakaway, sprint/climb. The great thing about this is that there is drama inter spaced between all of this and the announcer needs to be able to convey this. I would compare this to 5 day test cricket, which without a good commentator to spot the small things that happen ball to ball is about as exciting as calculating tax(boring AND painful). Mart Smeets (dutch announcer) was always a bit over the top in this regard (ie everything was dramatic) but he was genuinely happy to be their like a giddy school girl at a Justin Bieber concert. (OK maybe not that bad but that's exactly the type of hyperbole that he would use actually!). Watching for developments,telling stories of the olden days,explaining what's actually happening in the moment is all part of the package. Of course he's been doing it for years and I may have been it bit spoiled. I went to Florida to visit my mother one year during the years that Lance Armstrong was dominating. This was being covered on American television (only because Lance would win and I'm dead serious about that. I doubt that the tour will be covered in the states next year after Lance is finished). Anyways, listening to the announcers was excruciatingly painful because they didn't have the history, they dumbed everything down to their audience and the three most important things for them to talk about were 1. Lance 2. Lance 3. Lance. It was horrible and totally put me off. I don't even know who the announcers are that I watch here in New Zealand, but they are quite good (I think they are an Australian and an Englishman). The only problem is the time difference, as usual, with any world wide event that you try to follow in New Zealand. I can catch the first hour or so of a stage or my other option is to catch the replay of the last 2 hours the evening after, when I already know the result. Less than optimal, but at least I enjoy the way the announcers bring it. I can get into it again.
As far as this year's tour has gone, I think that it has pretty much gone to script. Contador had to be the favourite as long as something bad didn't happen to him. We got about 15 minutes of supreme tension the other day when Cantador,Schleck,Van den Broek,Menchov and Sanchez (the top 5) found themselves riding together all alone. When Schlek made his move, how inexplicable (just weird!) was it that his chain would let go at that exact moment. Don't get me wrong, it would have been exciting to see what would have happened but I truly feel that even if he had ridden away from that group the four of them would have pulled him back on the descent, just as much as they rode away from him when he was trying to play catch up by himself. The most exciting thing now is that it really bodes well for next year. Schleck will be a true contender to Contador especially if he has Frank with him. Andy will be more determined while Contador may be susceptible to a bit of complacency and most importantly the roles of Andy as the underdog and Contador as the villain will be set. It will be an epic match of testicular fortitude which of course is a perfect description for the Tour de France as a whole. Would you want to be a testicle after 3500 kms on a hard seat?

The Fallout

I've had a full day to digest everything and to be honest it's not all that bad. Sure Holland lost but I've convinced myself that it was fair result. I watched down at the local pub here in Waihi with about 20 people and all of them supported Holland except for one guy with a Spain shirt on (and I had invited him.) Oh well. I had a feeling that things weren't going to go well about the 60th minute so I was able to reconcile everything from that moment on. After the game I was definitely bummed out but I went home and got the kids dressed up and took them out for a walk around the pit here in town. They have a way sorting out for you what is really important (e.g. does fog smell?,what's a gingerbread man made from? can I drive a dumptruck when I get bigger?) you know the important stuff. The only thing that I could come away with after the game is the potential damage to Dutch Football's reputation. I've always met heaps of people who supported their own team and then Holland because of the style of play and their history. That they are always good and still almost always underdogs put them in a good position to build a loyal foreign fanbase. I defended Van Marwijk's style because it was getting the results and at the end of the day that's what is about but as this tournament went on I heard more and more comments about how dirty they were (not normally heard) and how Robben liked to fall over too easy (also not what they are usually known for but everyone does it too.) With the way the final played out with the fouls, yellow cards and cynical play and I think a lot of people will remember that.
Later in the day we went to visit our friends Nikki and Martin where we were going to a dinner party later on in the evening. I wasn't really up to it but I like Nikki and Martin and their friends where we were going to for the party but I really thought it could go either way. I could be really snarky and sarcastic as I tend to be sometimes or I could forget about the football and be my normal charming self. We had a great night with great food and good grown-up conversation and I don't think I insulted anyone which was a good thing. We only found out this morning that when we came in that one of the ladies who we hadn't met prior mistook Martin and I for a "couple". Sure, we came in together and sat next to each other at the dinner table (coincidence, but I prefer sit next to someone I don't know anyways a it's a better chance for conversation) and both of us looked absolutely stunning(I had my Brokeback Mountain shirt on,maybe that was a mistake looking back.) but other than that I don't where she would have got that idea. But, anyways, I thought it was hilarious but I'm not sure Martin was so amused and I'm not sure what Keri Ann nor Nikki thought. I have pretended to be gay twice in my life and I don't recommend it for the faint of heart. The first time was with my mate Jim at a country bar("U caint wear un hat less it's un cowboy hat") in San Antonio. We danced across floor arm in arm as 400 rednecks grabbed for their gun. We had to run out of the place and jumped over the car "Dukes of Hazzard" style and make a quick getaway. The second time was to try to get a girl to sleep with me hoping that she would try and "turn" me. Didn't work and I spent the night looking like a dick so that didn't help the cause. Ticked that one off the bucket list!

Best Street Name Ever

I actually preferred Hell on Wheels Ave. but whatever dude. Then again, I live on Smith St. I'm pretty desperate for a cool street name. Thanks, Boing Boing!

OK, I'm officially nervous now

I was a bit tight during the last ten minutes of the Brazil game. My alarms went off when Sneijder said that they were going to bring the Cup home after winning a quarter final! I felt a little bit better against Uraguay when Giovanni decided to make an appearance. (Note: this is an absolute good thing! Two people who should not get noticed on a pitch are referees and left-backs. Was that his first shot of the tournament?!). I felt nervous excitement as we crept ahead 2-1 and elation when we went to 3-1. Now here is where my "diehard Red Sox bad karma mojo" kicks in. I am actually more optimistic being behind than in front. No team prior to 2004 could kick you harder in testes than the Red Sox. Since they won it all in 2004 I considered myself a recovering panicker but this run by the Dutch team has taken me out of remission. I tried to explain this in one of my first post here. Fans of Holland and New Zealand should understand a bit of what I'm saying about World Cup Semi-Finals but some people prior to the match always see it half full where I see it half empty.
Anyways, bad mojo kicked me hard in the groin area as soon as Robben missed that sitter 5 minutes from time by trying to be too cute and then getting taken off smiling and hugging his coach,assistant coaches,bench,trainers,photographers,4th referee,groupies and ball boys. Bad karma for me all around really. I didn't need the last 5 minutes of that game at that moment in my life.
We are through and that is a good thing. I hope actually that we get Germany. The karmic ramifications are huge. I don't need to go on about what they are but just don't mention the war. '74 is good enough for me.In 2004, the Red Sox had to go through this when they came back from 3-0 down to the Yankees. Holland needs Germany to be there or not? I'm off on Monday (game time at 0630 here) which is a bit of a bummer. I always feel guilty drinking at 0700 but I feel I'll need a few. I'm going to invoke the "Bloody Mary Rule" which is the only acceptable drink that can be had before noon. What happens after that, I feel, will be up to Van Bommel,Sneijder and Van Persie (oh God no!).